Emotional Setbacks

Progress with feelings is rarely a straight line—kids and teens often take two steps forward, one step back. An emotional setback is a temporary return of big worries, sadness, or explosive behaviour after things had been smoother. It can feel discouraging, yet setbacks are a normal part of growing resilience.

Why they happen

• Extra stress: tests, friend drama, illness, or a move overload coping capacity.
  
• Skill-practice gap: new strategies haven’t been used enough to become habits.
  
• Developmental leaps: puberty and brain growth shake up mood regulation.
  
• Fatigue or sensory overload: tired bodies have fewer resources to stay calm.
  

Responding in the moment

1. Normalize the dip. “Hard days happen—we can use our tools again.”
   
2. Return to basics: sleep, food, movement, and co-regulation breaths.
   
3. Shrink the step. Break tasks into bite-size wins, a technique from our child CBT-based individual therapy.
   
4. Review the plan together. Revisit coping cards or a feelings thermometer practised in parent coaching.
   
5. Celebrate rebounds. Notice when mood lifts: “You kept going even after a wobble.” Positive spotting wires hope.
   

When to add support

• Setbacks occur weekly for a month.
  
• School avoidance, aggression, or deep sadness resurfaces.
  
• Parents feel stuck cycling through the same accommodations.
  

Options at FFEW:

• Individual therapy for fine-tuning coping skills.
  
• Parent-only help in one-on-one coaching or the Emotionally Healthy Parenting group.
  
• Peer practice in Parenting Children with Anxiety or our kid skills group Coping With Anxiety Kids.
  
• SPACE training to reset helpful limits if anxiety-driven setbacks dominate.
  

Related reading: Anxiety in Children & Teens · Emotional & Behavioural Regulation · Depression in Adolescence

Clinicians who guide recovery from setbacks

• Dr. Zia Lakdawalla – CBT/DBT + parent coaching
  
• Dr. Tamara Meixner – attachment-focused CBT/DBT
  
• Cassandra Harmsen – ACT & ERP blend
  
• Ola Obaro – Circle of Security, grief, school refusal
  
• Charlotte Johnston – neurodivergent-affirming DBT
  
• Jaydon Frid – family-systems CBT/DBT
  

Quick FAQs

1. Does a setback erase progress?

No—skills learned are still there. Think of it as muscle fatigue, not muscle loss.

2. Should we start therapy again after a slip?

If home strategies aren’t lifting mood within a few weeks, a short booster of therapy or parent coaching can help.

3. Do consequences work during a setback?

Gentle structure helps, but co-regulation first; teaching sticks better once calm.

4. How can I tell if it’s a normal dip or a bigger issue?

Flags include daily sadness, self-criticism, or risk behaviours—book a consultation through individual therapy if unsure.

5. Can setbacks be prevented?

Not entirely, but regular practice of coping tools, predictable routines, and quick support reduce their depth and length.